Date: The rebound hunter

Venue: David Jones Food Court, Bondi Junction

Spark: 6/10

Intellectual connection: 5/10

Physical appeal: 7/10

Date rating: 6.5/10

Jeremy was 20 years old and studying Journalism at university. We had spoken for a while on Grindr and I eventually met him in the David Jones Food Court. He was a quiet, nervous little thing. He had short dark hair, was about my height (read: short) and had trouble with eye contact. I guess the nervousness was something that came with being an angsty 20-something.

Jeremy and I sat down at a cute little cafe in Bondi Junction called Chocolat. He had a latte and I had some organic, blood orange calorie-laden soft drink. I did most of the talking in an effort to conceal the awkward silences that were inevitable if I stopped making conversation. In saying that, we were having a nice time right up until he brought up those four painful letters one never wants to hear on a first date: my ex.

There's nothing more upsetting when a nice date continually brings up an ex. Once is tolerable, twice is pushing it, but the second a date has brought up his ex three times, I know deep down they are not in a position (at least for now) to be anything more than friends. I believe the only way you can ever learn to love another person wholly and fully is to be completely resolved about your past relationships- and that can take a long time for some. It's nobody's fault, but when somebody is not emotionally available there's not much point in pursuing it any further.

Jeremy and I walked from Bondi Junction all the way to Bondi Beach and sat in the park for an hour or so. We chatted about Sydney, bars, weekends and, naturally, his ex. It was rather a shame as I was much more interested in him that his ex, but when someone is heartbroken they are pretty oblivious to the world that's going on around them. He was only a few weeks out of his two year relationship and I felt sorry for him- we've all been there. I listened patiently to his ex stories, gave him advice when he asked for it then eventually said I needed to make my way home.

I gave him a hug, told him it would be OK and caught a cab home.

About an hour later, I received a text message, "I had a really nice time. I hope to see you again sometime. X"

I had definitely made a new friend.

RULE #26: Create an emotional clearing and get happy about your past relationships.